Marcescence

It's the time of year when all you have to do is look at a tree
To catch it blushing and
We're walking toward the movie theater
And she scolds me for
The beer so early, scolds me for
Speaking too loud, scolds me for
Swearing in front of families, scolds me for
The joke about the child and the shotgun and
Bang,

My heart is in my shoes plodding on
And not in my hand holding hers.
I want to explain how I once danced with a girl
Screaming down a busy sidewalk,
Bumping into passers-by and each other
And the laughing, how reckless
And immature. How senseless
And childish and how
I still want to be,

Holding a hand
Unfeeling,
One finger raised to her lips
And the cool air passing through them
To silence me, to still me.
Such pretty eyes reprimanding
And looking away,
Looking back

And her looking with barometers
Of expectation, eyes peeling layers
And my quiet prayers for rain. Oh, rain,
How dry the summer had been, only drizzles
And no wind. no damage and no insurance,
No danger. none of that
Violent spring weather.
The looking back
To see a girl
And the girl besides.

And then the movie's finished and we're back in the car
And the small talking becomes looking out the window
With the radio on and the moving so fast
And the cool, cool air rushing
Through my hair, my shirt.
The streetlights were the streetlights of

A late night in the early summer and we didn't know where to go
So she picked me up in her car and we drove aimlessly around the
Neighborhood, kissing at every stop sign and going
In circles, going nowhere,
Her hand in my hair,
Going in circles,
Her hand under my shirt,
Going nowhere.

And how badly I want us to run,
How badly I want us to fall and injure
And how badly I want us to
Be unleashed and loud and dangerous
As escaped elephants. To be to blame,
Completely without shame and crashing
Into everything around us without the fear
Of breaking off, the fear of eyes breaking
Away and melting in the snow yet to fall.
The cool air moving in circles yet somehow
Going everywhere.