red light

at the party
i was drinking on the porch roof
heard you coming
ducked stumbled back inside
through the window into
a room illuminated by
a single red bulb you said
i'm leaving

but i didn't
want to see you go
i was thinking of jupiter
of red lights of stopping
there was too much symbolism
in my life and
the only natural thing to do
was to hold you
you who'd brought the storm
with you

again i was hanging on
to a force of nature with
both arms but i am weak
and something your friend
had told me about you
having found your other half
years ago
made me sure of what
i had to do i had to let
the rain find its way back
to the river

by this time i had already
shut down every part
of my brain except what
i needed to move my arms
with you in them nothing
i said was what i wanted
to hear myself say but
that is the sad mechanics
of a goodbye

it was all
of five hours i mean five
minutes of us drenched in
red with people milling
around oblivious to
the thunder in the room
of my face buried in your
hair smelling and forcing
the memory to soak and last
i will know that smell anywhere

i looked down into your eyes
and they were large white
stones floating in red water
this is the end this is the end
one strong gust rips you away
and this is the end

i go back out onto the roof
to watch you walk
down the street
the last drops of the flood
waters drying
flying up into the night air.